Lekker: Bacon Wrapped Baked Eggs

This post is about bacon. That alone should be enough to grab your attention. How about breakfast for dinner? I'm a big fan of that, since my love for eggs is WELL documented, and usually by the time I am home and have had a glass of wine, breakfast is about as complicated as it gets around here! This little dish takes about 30 minutes to whip up start to finish and is fancy enough to do for a Sunday brunch, for a winkwinknudgenudge morning after, or to make yourself feel fancy for dinner. Bottom line: this stuff is the SHIT.

Give it a spin.

Serve with a fresh green salad for lunch, steamed/grilled/sauteed asparagus and feta for dinner, or with some cut fruit and a tall glass of OJ (read: mimosa) for breakfast.

Because bacon.

Bacon Wrapped Baked Eggs
makes 1 serving

What You Need
serves 1; scale up as needed, depending on how many guests you have the morning after--I'm not judging
2 slices bread OR a bit of Pillsbury croissant or biscuit dough (in the pop-open tins that are like jack-in-the-boxes for adults, that is to say, awful)
2 eggs
4 slices of bacon (thick cut, applewood smoked, whatever you like)
Optional: shredded cheddar cheese (yes), sliced scallions or green spring onions (yes), salt and pepper (of course) and/or anything else you like with your eggs.

What You Do
1. Preheat your oven to 375 and grease a muffin tin well. If you're using slices of bread, use a highball glass to stamp out two circles of bread, smooshing them down into the bottom and sides of the muffin tin. You'll want to spray the bread with whatever Pam or melted butter or whatever you used to grease the pan, too. If you're using the croissant dough, just unroll it and layer it on the bottom and sides of the muffin tin. That's stuff got enough grease on its own to be a musical.

 See?

2. Cook the bacon in the microwave until it's pliable but not cooked. Usually this takes only about a minute for me. Wrap two pieces in a "halo" of sorts above the bread, overlapping each other a bit.

3. You can add cheese/onions/herbs to the bottom and then pile the egg on top, or vice versa. Usually I do a bit of both. So, I drop a wee bit of sliced onions and shredded cheese on top of the bread, and crack an egg into that lovely little well you've made. Then top with more cheese, onions, salt and pepper, because you worked hard today putting up with all those idiots out there and you deserve it.

 Voila!

4. YOU'RE DONE. Pop into the oven for about 16 minutes and enjoy a whiskey drink, then remove. Depending on how hot your oven gets you might want to start checking at 14 minutes; take it out when the whites are solid and cooked through. Let it cool for about 3 minutes (this gives the bread and egg time to release itself from the sides of the muffin tin) and run a knife around the edges, popping out onto a warm plate. Serve with your vegetable of choice (to counteract all that whiskey and bacon, of course) and bask in the praise of whomever you've decided to bless with this.

Liquor: The Carlos O'Brien

Last weekend or thereabouts, right when I started the Facebook page for this little blog, my good friend Sara Say-So asked me for a cocktail recommendation for a small dinner party she was throwing with her new husband Evan. (Can I just say, it is still so freaky to me that my friends from high school are now all doing the rounds of getting married and having babies, made ludicrous by the fact that I was actually divorced at 21, made even MORE ironic by the fact that Say-So's husband is my ex-husband's cousin...and I used to date Say-So's older brother back in high school...and Say-So and Evan got married in Barcelona, where my ex-husband and I went on holiday before getting married. IT'S A TEENY TINY WORLD Y'ALL.)

Of course in order to make any sort of recommendation on what to drink, I needed to know what they were eating, too. When she said fish, only two real things popped into mind--a Moscato for Thai or Asian inspired fish, or tequila for any sort of Caribbean/Latin American preparation. All of this was highly ironic given that I was in an aquarium at the time, but I digress.

Tequila it is! And what a fine choice indeed, given that I've been obsessed with Jose Cuervo Silver ever since I had a well-intentioned Nacho Night with some friends that ended with the usual debauchery--and woke up clear as a bell and awesome the next morning. I can't explain this devil magic, but I'm sticking with it! Tequila and lime is the quintessential combination, of course, but keeping in mind my current my love affair with the earthy spiciness of ginger, here's what I came up with:

The Carlos O'Brien: named by and created for the inspirational couple. I'm expecting an invite to the next dinner party you guys! :)


The Carlos O'Brien
makes 1 drink

What You Need
3 ounces white tequila, Jose Cuervo Silver preferably
2 ounces freshly squeezed lime juice
2.5 ounces ginger simple syrup (Requiring 1 cup white sugar, 1 cup water and 1 large piece of ginger, about 10 inches long; recipe follows.)
Club soda, to top off

What You Do
1. First things first, we gotta make the ginger simple syrup. Peel your piece of ginger and slice it up into a bunch of thin little rounds; the more surface area available the more ginger infusion we can eke out. In a small pot, combine the water, sugar and ginger pieces and bring to a low boil. Reduce, then simmer gently uncovered for 20-30 minutes until the syrup has thickened and turned a beautiful amber colour. Remove from heat and cool, straining out the ginger. It'll keep in the fridge for about a month.
Thin it out with a bit of water if you find it thickening too much in the fridge.

2. OK, drink mixing time! It's all pretty easy from here; just squeeze the limes through a strainer, and in a cocktail shaker filled with ice combine the lime juice, tequila, and ginger simple syrup. Shake for about 30 seconds and strain into a glass over ice. Top with club soda to taste, and serve with a lime wedge garnish. Ta dah!

Posted on February 7, 2014 .

Lekker: Raspberry Chia Jam

Chi-chi-chi-CHIA!

Did I just throw you back? Back to the days of infomercials, before TiVo, back before I discovered my black thumb and I thought I actually stood a chance of keeping one of those things alive? Look, you can even get one of Barack Obama and if THAT isn't just a *shade* on the nose I don't know what is.

Anyway, so apparently chia seeds are a thing OUTSIDE of the infomercial world, even though the red squiggly line underneath it is telling me Blogger disagrees. Shut up, Blogger. People are actually eating it, and as I'm always game to try the latest food trend to see if it's hipster bullshit or actually delicious, I picked some up at Trader Joe's last weekend.

First things first: they are teeny tiny light gray seeds that look like fleas.


I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but it's TRUE! I figured we could just get that out of the way, dry heave quickly, and move on.

Moving on, the thing that intrigued me most about these flea-seeds when researching them online was their gelatinous properties. That is, if you mix them with a bit of water and let them hang out, the high content of fibre creates a gel-like substance making this a PERFECT substitute for pectin AND gelatin! That is a bizarro and freakin' cool quality, and a big deal for two reasons. (Normal people don't get excited about this kind of thing but I do so bear with me because I'm about to drop some knowledge on you.)

First, pectin. Pectin is the substance that makes jams and marmalades...um...jammy. It's a thickening agent found naturally in the cell walls of plants that makes homemade jams gel to form a nicer spreading consistency.

Second, as a substitute for gelatin, chia is the BOMB. Do you know what gelatin is? It's the stuff in Jell-O and puddings and so on that's derived from collagen. Collagen is the stuff being shot into celebrities faces to make them look younger so that's probably where you've heard about it, but it's naturally found in skin, ligaments, bones, and tendons and you render it out by...boiling it. Seriously, it's true. Jell-O is artificially coloured boiled pig skin and cow skulls. Yummy! Who's hungry?

No, that's disgusting shit and you shouldn't be eating it. You think they make sure the skin is all nice and clean before they boil it? HA HA. If that doesn't sound like some insane Hannibal Lecter type shit to you, then perhaps you deserve what you're eating.

Sidebar: I'm not a fan of things with Jell-o and pudding-like consistency in the first place. It confuses me. I don't know how to eat it. Chew it? Swallow it? Gum it? Smush it through my teeth? No, just no, I prefer my foods to have a more defined identity, thanks. But, for those of you who ARE octogenarians and like that stuff, congratulations! Chia seeds are your new friends.

Back to pectin. I've been tinkering around with jams and marmalades for about two years ever since I spent Boxing Day one holiday with my Dad and friend Brenda trying to make calamondine marmalade. For the life of us none of us could remember/figure out what to use to actually make it JAMMY instead of a runny, sugary mess, and looking back...I have no idea why none of us Google searched it. (I blame the Cinzano day drinking.) Pectin was the answer as we've just learned (were you paying attention?) but since I'm always looking to add nutritional value to anything I make whenever possible, chia seeds STOMP pectin in that department--much like I fervently hope DMX will do to George Zimmerman in short order.

CHIA SEEDS: Fibre! Vitamins! Sustained energy! Superfood! You're not listening anymore and it doesn't matter; here's one way you can introduce it to your diet AND pat yourself on the back for making your own homemade jam. It's so easy and I guarantee it will impress the shit out of your overnight guest when you serve them homemade jam on waffles next-day. See: possible Valentine's Day Morning After breakfast. If you're lucky.



Raspberry Chia Jam
makes about 1/2 to 3/4 cup finished jam

What You Need
1 tablespoon chia seeds
2 1/2 tablespoons water
1 cup raspberries (or blueberries if you want blueberry jam, or blackberries if you want blackberry jam, see how this works?)
2 teaspoons honey or agave nectar, more or less, to your tastes

What You Do
1. In a small bowl, mix the chia seeds with the water and let them sit for about 10 minutes. Then they'll look like this!


2. Then in a blender, Magic Bullet, or in a small bowl using an immersion blender, blend everything together. That's seriously it. No dicing, no cooking, no heat, nothing. NEVER have I had such a cool DIY project with so minimal effort. If only there were someone to impress on Valentine's Day morning.

Gentlemen! Now auditioning.
Posted on February 5, 2014 .

Lekker: Feta Dip

Today's recipe comes from Sweet Paul, one that's been hangin' around on my Pinterest boards for ages while I waited for an excuse to whip it up. I got a GREAT one on Saturday night when my girlfriends Lilypad, Tiny Bird, Sammy Anne and I had a good old fashioned girl's night/slumber party--ladies, have you had one of those recently? Now I don't mean going out and getting wasted with your girlfriends and then coming back to crash at their places--I mean sitting around a coffee table laden with snacks on the living room floor, watching romantic comedies and stuffing your faces and laughing until you cry? That's exactly what we did and man, it is good for the heart.

However, since we are "grown ups" (LOL) instead of Ben & Jerry's we had gelato and sorbetto, and in lieu of greasy pizza we whipped up baked Brie and prosciutto and THIS delicious feta dip. I know, we're all just so painfully sophisticated right? Don't worry--I may have been sipping a Lemon Ginger Martini, but I was doing it in a leopard print onesie and making dick jokes through Cards Against Humanity, so, some things never change.

Sidebar: Have you guys ever played that game, Cards Against Humanity? SO. MUCH. FUN. You get to learn aaaaaalll sorts of things about your friends with this little doozy...for example, my sweet, classy, Southern Belle friend Lilypad? Turns into a completely dirty deviant! The hippie, flowers-in-her-braided-hair museum studies/art history major Sammy Anne? That woman just wants to watch the world burn. And Tiny Bird, well...she just wants to play with dead babies and coolers full of organs from Mexico, but I was pretty sure of that already. It's just as despicable, awkward and hilarious as it sounds, and you can buy it here.


Fun way to find out what your friends REALLY think of you, too.

Eat this while you play.

I repurposed the original feta container, because I'm lazy eco-friendly like that.

Feta Dip
serves 4

What You Need
8 ounces feta cheese, crumbled (I am over-the-moon obsessed with the "Authentic Greek Feta" from Trader Joe's, because it IS actually legit--made from sheep's milk and packed in brine, that stuff is utterly addicting.)
1 clove garlic, minced
1 tablespoon grated lemon zest (I only had limes on hand so that's what I used, but lemon is better)
2 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
Dash or two of dried thyme
Pinch of freshly ground black pepper
6 tablespoons olive oil
Optional: 1 tablespoon Greek yogurt, if you feel like it needs to lighten up a bit

Sliced cucumbers, pita chips, and/or tomatoes for dipping & serving

What You Do
1. Throw everything into a blender or Magic Bullet, or do what I did and just use an immersion blender and a deep bowl. Done! Make sure to let this sit in the fridge for a few hours before you serve it so the flavours have a chance to marry, like half my friends these days.

Posted on February 4, 2014 .